Last spring my mom and I went to visit my youngest brother in Austria. If you have never been you really should go. It is a very beautiful country. We had spent most of the trip in Vienna so we were itching to get out of the city. We rented bikes and rode along the Danube River. Evidently you can bike from Passau, Germany all the way to Vienna, which is 230 miles. This is something I would love to try someday, although I don’t think I’m ready now seeing how my butt hurts for 3 days after a 45 minute spin class.
My mom and brother enjoying a great day in Austria.
So we were enjoying the fresh air and the beautiful scenery. It was one of the first warm days of the year in Vienna so there were lots of other people enjoying the bike path and the banks of the river. There were families picnicking and father’s teaching their sons how to fish.
We had been riding for a while when we noticed that the other side of the river looked a little more interesting. There were more people and a few ice cream stands. We found a bridge and crossed the river. Well let me tell you, this was one of those “the grass isn’t always greener” situations. You know who those people were on the other side of the river? NUDISTS! And these were old, wrinkly, German nudists. I don’t mean to sound cruel about the aging body. I think it is great to be proud of your body, just don’t show that pride by lying naked, spread eagle in the middle of the bike path. My brother and I are pretty prudish so we were in a state of shock. Even my mom, who is a bit of a free spirit, was dismayed. And the most surprising part (well the nudists were the MOST surprising part) was that no one had mentioned this to us. The guide books, which will tell you how to order schnitzel in German and seamlessly navigate the Vienna subways, never mentioned the hoards of nudists that flock to the eastern bank of the Danube on warm days.
Needless to say the rest of the bike trip didn’t go as smoothly because, unless you are Lance Armstrong, it is near impossible to ride a bike while averting your eyes from loads of nudists and trying to stifles your laughter. So you should definitely go to Austria, and if you like wrinkly old butts, you should hit the east side of the Danube on a warm day. And if you REALLY like wrinkly old butts you should enjoy the picture below.
Nudist taking a leisurely walk down the Danube.
I certainly couldn't find a song to match this post but I've been meaning to play the Rolling Stone's You Can't Always Get What You Want for a while. Enjoy!