I woke this morning to the news that my friend Ryan had killed himself yesterday. I have known Ryan for over 20 years, and as I cannot think of a time that he was not being sweet and making a joke, this comes as a great shock. I have not seen Ryan in a while so I can only imagine that his pain was deep and my heart aches for him.
I've spent today trying to think of nice memories of Ryan, which is important when you lose a friend. In high school, Ryan and I worked together at the local pizza and video store. One day at work, the owner's son, a big practical joker, passed out scratch-and-win tickets, giving Ryan a fake one. By scratching his ticket, Ryan revealed that he had won a large sum of money. He told everyone to kiss his butt, that he quit, and then walked out. As he walked through the parking lot he realized it was a fake as the instructions on the back said that the ticket could be redeemed by returning it "To your mom's house" or mailing it to "never never land." Ryan ran back in pleading for his job back. He was quickly reinstated and everyone died laughing. That has always been one of my favorite stories and now it will forever hold a very special place in my heart.
I am overcome with feelings of helplessness. Feelings that for Ryan's family and close friends I'm sure are unbearable. If you see a friend struggling, please reach out to them. And if you yourself are feeling depressed or are having trouble coping, please please please ask for help.
Song of the Day
I remember clearly a day in 5th grade when Ryan and our friend Steve came rushing in exclaiming we HAD to listen to their new favorite song. They played Spin Doctor's Two Princes and we all agreed that it was the best.
Ryan, you are in my heart and your friends and family are in my prayers.